Obama Authorizes Drone Strike On Putin
WASHINGTON — President Obama has authorized a targeted drone strike against Russian President Vladimir Putin following his country's controversial troop movements into Ukraine's Crimea, senior administration officials confirmed today.
Putin, 61, was added to the controversial "kill list" on Saturday shortly after speaking with the president in a 90-minute phone call. Following the call, the White House readout indicated that Obama spoke for approximately 30 minutes while Putin laughed continuously for the last 60.
"I mean seriously," senior aides reported Obama as saying. "Fuck that guy."
One source, a senior official on the national security council who requested anonymity so as not to also wind up on the list, told Duffel Blog reporters the U.S. planned to blame terrorists if a strike was successful. The source confirmed that multiple Hellfire missiles would have "From Chechnya with Love" painted on the nose, and they would be stamped with "MADE IN CHECHNYA" on the side.
While a sensiti…
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